andi oakes

I literally have just got back from dropping my wife to work and had to grab my laptop and blog something that we saw as we pulled into the car park.  

Just as we were pulling up to the main doors where I usually drop Grace off, we noticed a little bird.  Now there's nothing inherently unusual about seeing a little bird and it wasn't a particularly rare one either, but it was what we saw our little feathered friend doing that at first caught my eye and prompted me to point it out.

When we first pulled into the car park, I couldn't help but notice this small bird flying frantically around one of the parked cars.  At first I thought nothing of it, until I realised that it seemed to be up to something, because it was hovering around the drivers window as if trying to see inside the car.  

My first reaction was of course  “Oh my goodness that little bird is trying to steal that car!”  

I hurriedly reassessed that conclusion however, in light of the fact that it couldn't possibly be planning to pinch a Ford Fiesta...because it's little legs would never reach the pedals.  And what kind of stupid bird would try and break into a car in broad daylight?  Surely not.  So I looked again and saw something more revealing...

The little bird was now frenetically flying at the wing mirror of the car like some sort of deranged berserker.  Suddenly, it dawned on me what it was doing: it was fighting...itself! Our little feathered friend had spotted itself in the mirror of the car and, not realising it was just a reflection, decided to see off the invader. Who knows what was going through it's mind?  Did it see a territorial invader, or a love rival perhaps?  Or maybe it had seen this “other bird” out of the corner of it's eye while trying to size up the car for a “job” and thought to itself “Get out of it mate. This is my turf!”  

Whatever the reason (I'm going with the Car racket-turf war scenario), it was plain to those of us who were objectively observing the scene, that the little bird was wasting an awful lot of energy fighting itself – and how often we are exactly the same.

I've had that kind of week, and felt like I've been a bit like a yo-yo; but I realise that most of my own difficulties in life come from a very simple misunderstanding of what is actually going on.  The natural tendency in all of us is to project onto other people and circumstances, our own ego inspired world view.  You see, I believe that what the Bible calls sin is not simply what we do wrong, but is fundamentally how we see.  The wrong things that we do are merely a symptom of sin – a twisted lens through which we see the world.  We are born into a very Ego-centric world view that tells us it's all about us...or more accurately...ME.  It is the concept of ME that is at the root of the Ego-centric mind that drives us to project false perceptions onto others, leading us into regualr over reactions.  How many times have you rehearsed an argument with someone in your head before you have actually approached them? Many, if you are like me.  We all do it.  We all project onto others what is actually inside of us. 

So just like this little bird, we only succeed in fighting, ultimately, with ourselves.  Wasn't it Jesus who said we had to die to ourselves?  He wasn't simply talking about sacrifice.  I believe He was leading us into the true Kingdom of God where the Ego is put to death, and peace can finally reign in our hearts.  Once we are at peace with ourselves, then I'm sure we will find it much less likely to find ourselves in pointless confrontations and fights.