andi oakes

I am dedicating this blog to a dear friend of ours, Lynne Cassells who passed away yesterday after a lengthy battle with cancer.

Lynne and her husband David have been close friends with my wife and I for almost thirty years and her loss leaves a huge hole in our lives that can never be filled.

I first met Lynne when I started turning up at church because I happened to be interested in Grace.  It wasn't a big church by any means then, and so I soon got to know everyone fairly quickly after Grace finally gave in and agreed to us dating: and Lynne was right there from the word go with her fun filled enthusiasm, encouraging us along.  Grace and I were in our late teens then and David and Lynne, who had not been married that long themselves at this stage, were in their early twenties.  

Lynne always impressed me.  She was so full of focused energy,  knowing exactly what she wanted to do and then going and doing it: not letting anything stand in the way of something she passionately believed in.  

It wasn't too long before all of us were working together on the leadership team of our youth fellowship, and we always felt more secure when Lynne was around.  She just seemed to know how to do things...and even if she didn't, she never let a simple fact like that stop her from doing it anyway.  At times she could be belligerent with the best of them when it came to potentially having to give ground on something she passionately believed in, but she was always one of the most gentle people I have ever had the privilege to know.  She knew how to have a laugh, and was always the first to get up to mischief.  I can see her even now, in my minds eye, giggling impishly after yet another attempt to give someone a wedgie.  She also became the object of most of our pranks and affectionate teasing: always giving as good as she got.  

Lynne also had a beautiful voice and was constantly beside me in our years together, leading worship in our home church of Lurgan Elim.  Her harmonies were always perfect and more than one person would comment on how well our voices worked together.  In fact, as I am writing this, I remember the first time we actually performed with each other.  It was well over twenty five years ago (if not more) at one of our Church Christmas Dinners.  In those days, after the main meal, a few of us would get to do a little party piece as part of the after dinner entertainment.  This particular year, our church had hired the local civic centre, and so all the acts were going to be on the main stage.  I had asked Lynne if she would like to sing with me, and so we got up and sang together for the very first time.  And the song we performed?  “Bright eyes” by Art Garfunkel.  The words of which will carry a more weighty meaning after this sad week.

When she first took ill a few years ago, and had to stop singing in church, we missed her dreadfully.  Church was never the same, and I think we always felt kind of incomplete, like somebody had cut one of our limbs off or something.  It wasn't long after that, that I began to get a lot of work outside of our home church, which eventually resulted in Grace and I not being there that often...but it never really felt the same for some reason anyway when we were there: and I think a huge part of that was our friend's forced absence.

Church is always about people; and home is about the people we love.

For many, many years the four of us (Lynne, David, Grace and I) were virtually inseparable: hanging out constantly with each other and holidaying together.  I remember one summer when the four of us got addicted to a video game called “Wonder boy” on the old Sega Master System.  It was a platform game, which involved getting a little dude in a grass skirt through successive levels to his final destination (which we never actually got to see to come to think of it).  The problem was that, twenty years ago, games systems didn't have memories: so when you turned them off, you had to start from the beginning again.  For at least two weeks of the summer, we would be in each others houses almost every night, trying to work our way through the game...from the very beginning.  The net result of course was, the further we would get into the game, the longer it took each successive night to get back to where we had left off: which meant that, in the latter stages of game play, we would only be picking up where we had left off by the early hours of the morning.  So, we got into the routine of breaking out strawberries and ice-cream around 2am.  

The amazing thing was, that this nightly tradition had absolutely no impact on us when we eventually had to get up for work that morning! Oh the energy of youth.  If we tried to do that now, it would probably take a week to recover after one late night/early morning.  

That really was a truly memorable summer.

Lynne and David were also the only people outside of my own family who travelled to Cornwall with us to meet my family down there.  It has always been something of a personal special bond in my own heart to know that they had met many of my Cornish connection, and that Lynne and David got to see the village where my Mum's family came from.  I remember us all standing on the quayside in Flushing, looking across to Falmouth and how proud I felt that people I love were seeing somewhere that is special to me. That's a connection that means a great deal to me, and no one else has entered that inner sanctum since.

I miss our friend terribly...my wife and I both do.  

She was the best of us all among our group.  Over her many years of faithful service, she has affected, influenced and inspired hundreds and hundreds of kids for good through her youth work.  She was a masterful organiser and visionary, full of joy and passion.  A beautiful person who leaves a lasting legacy through her work with the Campaigners Youth organisation...but more importantly through the love she leaves behind in our hearts. 

Losing someone you love is never easy, and though we celebrate the life of a wonderful friend...we mourn her loss deeply.  This is the bitter-sweet nature of love.  We will have many tears to shed in the days ahead, both of joy and sadness.  

The last time Grace and I saw her was at Christmas time, before she went rapidly downhill in health and we were no longer able to visit, because of her deteriorating condition.  We ached to see her, but understood that the nature of circumstance didn't make it practical.  But on that last time, as we prayed with her and said goodnight, I leant over her as she sat in her chair, and kissed her forehead.  It's a memory that is burned into my mind...because, although I wasn't aware of it, that really was goodbye.

The Bible encourages us to greet each other with a “Holy kiss”...and that's perhaps because we should never assume that we know what tomorrow is going to bring.  True love and care for each other is not something to delay or hide...for a time will come when those we love will no longer be among us.

I thank God that Lynne believed passionately in God, and take great comfort in the knowledge that the love of God, that surpasses understanding, is embracing her right now, without hinderance.  My friend is truly free.

Good bye our beautiful friend.  Until we all meet again.  x